September 2011
1 post
Ive learned that
As children we want to grow up only to accomplish all of our dreams. Once we grow up we realize those dreams nearly impossible or no longer the dreams we had in mind.
Life, the ultimate comedian.
August 2011
1 post
“Thats how you turn someone into an atheist. Give them so much love that they...”
May 2011
8 posts
A dip into the cerebal cortex.
Twitter: Follow me [here]
The majority of human beings on this earth are kind hearted.. Or so I’d like to believe. A while ago, I started this personal goal for myself to go out of my way to do one act of kindness a day. Some days are easier than others. Some days the act is one that just happens to find you. Other days, its one you have to struggle to find. Big or small it’s still an act of kindness…...
“You get what you feel as though you deserve” True or False? True. We all have fallen victim to those friend/relationships where we put in more than what we get out. A concept I wasn’t too aware of until recently. I was always the one lacking in the effort, and now I’ve become the one who has invested too much effort.. Karma is a comedian. Having those...
zolatori asked: I understand how you feel entirely, your sentiments remind me of my own. Losing an immediate family member is hands down one of the most difficult ordeals to endure in life. Something I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. I know I don't know you personally, but I send my love and condolences to you and your family. <3
Sit down, Listen.
Losing my sister has to be one of the roughest ordeals i’ve had to go through. Burying an adult is challenging but burying a 10 year old littler girl, talk about unbearable. No human being on this earth should ever have to pick out a child-size casket and sort through hand written cards from students of the school she attended. it’s endless and the pain still continues. It amazes me...
April 2011
3 posts
They weren’t lying when they said the little things mean the most. Daily I come across thousands of people faces names stories. Most I forget, but some stand out. I met this woman today. I don’t know her name or her story. She was having a bad day, and I could tell just by her body language that her trip to Florida wasn’t one of the best and she was ready to head back home....
Just like someone without mental illness
only more so.
March 2011
9 posts
What I want is to be needed. To be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up my free time, ego, attention. Someone addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
The only thing I wanted to tell her for the longest is simple….
‘if you stay around long enough I’ll be worth it, I promise.’
Then I got to thinking….
If I have to make her aware of my worth is she really worth it?
No.
i'm left handed, not an alien.
brain-food:
Stop skulking at me while I write.
I feel like i could fill this box up with every single thought I have….. …it still wouldn’t do damage. I need to come up with a way to sort through these thoughts. …..eventually.
“The easiest way to not get hurt is to not care, but that’s the hardest thing to...”
– Julian Gough (via jovialtulip)
I think I’ve buried my feelings for so long I don’t now how to get to them anymore…
Found the person to speak the language of my mind.
Found the person to speak the language of my heart.
They existed within two different
minds
bodies
souls.
I fell in love with them both at the same time
Bad, bad idea.
February 2011
5 posts
is this thing still working….
January 2011
12 posts
The last thing she said to me was “Courtney, you know you suck at pretending to be interested.” Do I make it that obvious? It’s awkward, the whole getting to know a person thing. Asking those generic questions “What do you like? What don’t you like? Pet peeve’s” Like no, I want your story.
Tell me your life, you loves, your heartbreaks, gains, losses,...
ruggedtranquility:
Someone asked me, “Why are you so guarded?” and I replied, “Because I have myself to protect. I am my own best interest. And if I don’t give a fuck about myself, then who will?”
Love is a battlefield - Pat Benatar
December 2010
9 posts
To be lonely is one of the worst emotions to feel. You can be lonely in your room, in your house, in your car.. Ironically, you can be lonely in a room full of your favorite people doing what you love.. It’s all the same. Being lonely can cause you to do some of most regrettable things. In a moment of loneliness you can do something you’ll have to pay for, for the rest of your life....
Fast Cars - Tracy Chapman
If stability weren’t such a necessity in my life I would become a nomad.. Seriously. How exciting of a life it would be with ties to nothing, free to go and come as you please, learning from the world and your travels. People can tell us so much about ourselves but our surroundings can teach us so much more.
I want to revisit my past and apologize to all of those that I hurt.
I just haven’t found the words to say. I’m in a process of going through the list of hearts broken due to Courtney and trying to mend the spaces I cause. I don’t want to be the reason someone refuses to love again. I don’t want to be the reason why trust can never be complete in a relationship. The past...
1 tag
Nothing is more intriguing than a mind you want to pick apart. Nothing feels as good as being able to pick apart the mind you have been so curious about. Rarely do I come across people whose mind instantly makes me wonder what it contains. I can appreciate thoughts more than I can a face, because lonely skin is better than a lonely heart. Eventually, someone will admire my brain as much as I do...
I always have something to say. It’s just lately… finding out how to say it is the hardest part.
1 tag
My job, as any job has its pro’s and con’s. This is a job, not a career (Note to self) But, I do meet some amazing people traveling from ALL over the world. Today, I met this man who just recently turned 92, two (now three) days ago. While that in ITSELF is an accomplishment what awed me more was the fact that he and his wife had been married for 60+ years. Old couples make my heart...
November 2010
3 posts
I read this once… “the funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody is hurting. we could be standing next to someone who is completely broken and never know it.” I didn’t realize how relevant it was to my life until I broke. The hard part about being broke inside is that no one knows the extent of ones damage. I could tell you all how much I hurt but there...
This blog could have been a vital part of my healing a month ago. Now I’m here…. Healing with no reflection of the progress that was made. Wait… I take that back, progress was made, enough for me to even reflect on it. But none of the progress is visual it’s all internal, emotional, and spritual. Like whats the point of progress without LOOKING back and SEEING how far...